Hey! Wait up!
Where do you think you're going? Trying to run away from me. Huh?
No. I'm just trying to get your bag.
I mean. I was just looking for something.
For what?
You think I'm stupid? I am not about to be stood up by you.
Look. I've already put on my make-up.
And once I've done that. there's no turning back for me.
One more thing. I'm starving.
So. Let's go!
I made this especially for Rico.
Make him drink this and he'll return to his old self.
What is this. Doctor?
A special brew mixed with a lesbian's eyebrow.
We'll have two orders of baked oysters...
two orders of lamb chops. Medium rare...
and two glasses of red wine.
- Okay. - Yes. Ma'am.
Thank you.
Waiter! Wait.
My date hasn't ordered yet.
Rico. Go ahead and order.
- Sir. - Sorry.
I thought you also ordered take out for your parents.
I told you. I'm starving.
I can see that.
Well. Three spicy gambas...
three lamb chops. Well done.
And red wine.
Three glasses. Sir?
Three bottles.
Yes. Sir.
Excuse me.
I'll just go to the restroom.
Sure. take your time.
Venus!
Don't forget your mission. Okay?
I know.
What are you doing here. Anyway?
We need to give you something...
Your balance payment?
No. We agreed to pay after you complete your mission. Right?
Take this!
What's this?
That's for Rico.
You need to make Rico drink it...
Why?
- Just do it! - Just do it!
I'm sorry. Rico. Did I make you wait long?
The restroom was crammed with people.
You don't have to explain. It's fine.
Is this your wallet?
- I saw it on the floor. - Thanks.
Let's eat before the food gets cold.
Happy birthday in advance!
Thank you.
Why?
Nothing.
They say that one can tell a woman's character...
by the food she orders on her first date.
Oysters. For example.
You're like an oyster. You have hard shell on the outside...
because you're hiding something tender inside.
Medium rare lamb chops which is not cooked well...
and yet not exactly raw.
It means you hate extremes.
You prefer to place yourself in the middle.
So whenever you make a decision. you want to play it safe.
So that if you fail. you don't get hurt that much.
Of course. there's red wine.
Look. Doesn't it resemble fresh blood?
But the truth is. red wine is sweet.
You need to taste them first before making any judgement.
Rico. What I really wanted was Angus steak.
I decided to choose lamb chops because it's cheaper.
If you really want to know a woman's character...
you must exert an effort to get to know her.
Don't rely on mere theories.
One more thing. It's usually a give and take formula.
No woman would let you know her true self...
without introducing yourself first.
You need to earn her trust before she reveals herself to you.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Yes.
Come on. Let's eat.
- Cheers! - Cheers!
Excuse me. Mr. Rico Suave?
- Yes? - You have a phone call. Sir.
Excuse me.
Hello?
Yes. Tippy.
What?
What happened to Mom?
A heart attack?
Okay. we'll be right there.
Mom?
Mom!
- Happy birthday! - Happy birthday!
Big brother. Happy birthday! I love you!
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday son. I'm proud of you.
What's your birthday wish?
Dad! Mom!
You should have informed me first about this...
so I won't panic.
- That's why it's a surprise. Son! - Surprise!
By the way. I want to introduce my friend.
Venus.
- Hello! - So. It's you! My child!
Daddy. Our child! Greet your father. Venus.
- Hello. - Give respect.
Tippy! Ruben!
- Greet your sister. - How do you do. Big sister?
You know son. Of all the girls you brought home...
I like her the most.
But Mom. She's the first and only girl I brought home.
I'll introduce you to the entire family. Come on. Join me.
- Pedring! My son is not gay! - Happy birthday.
Elsie. Susie! My son is not gay.
My son is not gay!
She's so fair-skinned. Isn't she?
That's your Aunt Diding! Diding. Meet Venus.
And here's your Aunt Joyce!
She's so fair-skinned! How lovely!
Hey Conchita! Meet Venus.
Come on. one happy birthday song for Rico!
- All right! - All right!
Happy happy happy birthday!
Happy birthday son!
Happy birthday. My child.
Dad. Mom. Everyone. Thank you very much.
Venus. Are you okay there?
Yes. I am.
I hope you didn't mind meeting everyone.
Even when they harassed you.
That's fine with me. It's your birthday anyway.
Don't worry about me.
Take care of your guests. It's your birthday.
Sorry for being mistaken as my girlfriend.
Since this is the first time I brought a girl here.
That's okay. You worry too much.
Take care of your guests. It's your birthday.
- Are you sure you're okay? - Yes. Don't worry.
Fine. See you later.
Come here.
Listen everyone. To sing for us...
from the bottom of her heart...
to her beloved Rico.
Everybody. Let's give a round of applause for Venus!
My mind is so confused I don't know what to do
I find it hard to catch your attention
Whenever we cross paths My heart beats like crazy
Even my knees tremble like mad
There you are again Flashing your lovely eyes
I freeze at their sight
Mr. Dreamboy, Mr. Dreamboy I wonder what's on your mind
Mr. Dreamboy, Mr. Dreamboy You're always in my dreams
I talk to you in my dream You are so sweet
We hold each other's hands
I wish I would never awaken from this dream
Here I am, lost and confused I don't know what to do
Daydreaming of you all day
Thinking of you Your charming eyes
And your really gorgeous smile
There you are again flashing your lovely eyes
I freeze at their sight
Come on son. Don't be shy!
Mr. Dreamboy, Mr. Dreamboy I wonder what's on your mind
Mr. Dreamboy, Mr. Dreamboy
- You're always in my dreams - They look good together!
I hope I can tell you my precious little secret
That you're my one and only dreamboy
- Kiss her! Hurry! - Kiss her!
Mr. Dreamboy, Mr. Dreamboy I wonder what's on your mind
Mr. Dreamboy, Mr. Dreamboy You're always in my dreams
I hope I can tell you my precious little secret
That you're my one and only dreamboy Always my dreamboy
- That you're my one and only dreamboy - Come on. Son! Don't be shy!
Kiss!
Venus!
Don't forget to let Rico drink the potion.
Thank you.
Okay. I'll go have some.
For your birthday. Rico. These were all my idea.
Look at your brothers' moustaches?
They look so good on them. Right?
My child. Has something happened between you and Rico already?
What?
- Nothing. - Come on!
You know how hard it is to invite our relatives.
Say "ahh!"
Open your mouth.
What a beautiful set of teeth! Just like mine.
This is all for you. My son.
You're so pretty.
Go and elope with him!
Come on. Let's drink!
See you around.
Hi there!
Can I ask you something? I hope you don't mind.
- Are you still a virgin? - What?
You blushed! That means you're still a virgin.
I guess you're the right girl for my son.
You know what. We love Rico so much.
So don't worry because we will also love you as much.
Thank you.
Excuse me. Someone's calling me.
I'll be right back.
Hello.
Hello?
Hi! Is there a problem?
I have two bad news for you.
Which one would you like to hear first?
Do I have a choice?
The organizer of the play in Japan called up.
- Really? - Yes. I got accepted...
but you didn't.
Stop crying. You're exaggerating.
I can still go to Japan.
As soon as I save enough money for my fare...
and after this racket is through...
we'll still be together in Japan.
Actually. The other bad news is...
thieves got into our house.
Everything is gone except the aquarium.
They didn't spare even the money in our bedroom.
Venus...
Are you okay?
Venus?
Is there anything I can do?
Would you like to share it with me?
I'll listen.
My mother is in Japan.
We haven't seen each other for ten years.
Is that the reason why you want to go to Japan?
The play I wanted to join will tour the entire Japan.
That's the only way I have... to go to Japan.
My mother might be able to catch my play.
And we will reunite.
That's too bad.
I failed in the audition.
My money were stolen too.
You can still do other jobs. you know?
You can still earn and save money for your trip.
But I can loan you money...
if you want.
Really?
Sure.
But you barely know me.
I might just be after your money all along.
It's okay with me. As long as you're happy.
Why?
That's how I am.
I'm happy if I see that you're happy too.
Why?
You ask a lot. Enough questions. Okay?
Are you alright now?
Let's go back there.
Okay. Let's go.
You cry easily. I thought you're tough.
Let's go.
Wipe your tears first.
Rock baby rock
Rock into my life
Rock baby rock
My Dad is a good singer.
Hey, hey, hey!
Rock baby rock
Hey, hey, hey!
For every move of your body
I go crazy over you
I'm for you forever because we're together
Rock baby rock
Visit your grandparents. Okay?
They don't feel well that's why they didn't make it to the party.
They'll feel bad if you don't introduce Venus to them.
Okay.
You can return the car tomorrow.
You might want to bring Venus somewhere later.
Thank you. Venus!
Please do visit us again. Okay? You're part of the family now.
Thanks a lot. Bye!
- Thank you. - See you later. Mom. Dad.
- Take care. - We'll go ahead.
Okay. Guys. Enjoy the night.
Grandfather. Grandmother.
I want you to meet my friend. Venus.
Venus. Meet my grandparents.
Look at you!
You even brought a goddess along to visit us.
You're so beautiful.
What made you fall for my ugly grandson?
You better think again.
Grandpa...
Good evening.
God bless you.
- You're so pretty. - Thank you.
We hope we could still see our future great grandchildren.
Hurry up in making one because we might die soon.
Stop talking like that. Will you?
It scares me.
At our age. We're not afraid to die anymore.
We have already accomplished what we wanted in life.
What's that?
To grow old together.
How sweet of you.
Sweet? She really is.
She's diabetic. Even ants gather around her urine.
I used to fear death. But not anymore.
Why?
If I die first. I'm sure my wife will follow soon.
Hey! Do you really think I'd die first?
You'd go first!
- No. You! - No. You!
You!
God will take you first!
Grandpa!
Grandpa. Grandma. We have to go.
See you later.
Thank you for coming over. Feel free to visit us again. Okay?
I will.
Venus. Hurry up with our great grandchild. Okay?
If only Rico is not such a slowpoke.
You take care of him. Okay?
You always pick on me. Huh?
Remember. You will face many trails in life...
but If you could uphold your love for each other...
through all those challenges. nothing on earth can separate you.
Thank you. Grandma.
Thank you. Grandpa.
Bye. Venus.
Thanks again.
Take care of Venus. Okay?
I will.
Rico?
Yes?
What if you met me in a different place and in a different situation.
Would you still court me?
Of course.
What if you discovered something bad about me?
Would you still court me?
I should have known.
Wait.
Am I forbidden to think?
- I was just kidding. - Hey. Rico!
- Uncle! - Happy birthday.
Thank you.
My apologies. I got stuck in traffic.
I went to your house but your mother said...
you're here at grandpa's house so I came here instead.
No problem. It's okay. Uncle.
By the way. I'd like you to meet my friend.
Venus. Meet my Uncle Bodjie.
Hello.
- Hi. Venus. - Hello.
Your friend looks shy.
Yes. She is.
Venus?
Her name sounds familiar. Venus.
Venus?
It's her!
The nerve of you!
Uncle! Wait a minute.
You know each other?
Don't you know who this is?
She's a prostitute. Do you know what she did to me?
She fooled me. She made me fall sleep.
Then she stole my wallet and got my cash.
I ended up hiking my way back home.
- The nerve! - Uncle. Wait!
My apologies. Venus.
Uncle. You were drunk then.
You might have mistaken her for a different girl.
Drunk?
This girl is really a prostitute. She tricked me.
Hold it. Uncle.
Is my uncle right. Venus?
Are you a prostitute?
She's not only a prostitute. She's a hustler and a thief!
- Wait until I get my fists on you! - Uncle!
- Where's my money? - Uncle! Stop it!
Venus!
- Venus! - Rico!
Venus!
Venus.
Venus. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said.
I was shocked. Don't I have the right to feel shocked?
I never had troubles in my jobs before.
But now. Because of you I feel so dirty.
I feel like a person who doesn't deserve to live!
That's too much. I never said anything like that.
You may be right. You never said anything.
But with the way you look at me... you make me feel so cheap.
Venus. I'm sorry.
I overreacted earlier.
I was shocked.
Okay.
I'll do anything to show you I'm really sorry.
I'll even let you have my body.
How dare you!
But isn't that what you wanted? That I court you?
I just asked you about it. That's all. Don't take it seriously.
You're not my type. So quit bugging me and leave me alone.
Does that mean my suave ways are of no use to you anymore?
Suave ways? They're useless.
Do you know what you are?
A man with no character.
All your life. You treat everything with your suave ways!
And you?
Do you think you're a faultless woman?
You do anything for money.
My uncle is right all along.
You're a...
Don't you dare judge me.
You barely know me.
Wherever you are Rico Suave. shame on you!
Don't ever show me your face or else I'll wipe your entire clan!
Why do I remember you
From the time when we first met
Since then I already loved you
My life I've offered to you
Why are you gone now
Why have I been left alone
Didn't you say it before
That our love is forevermore
I wish I already knew
That our feelings won't last
Then I won't have to suffer this way if I never learned
To give you my love
Don't you know I'm hurting inside
- Rico Suave! - Then why are you gone now
Why have I been left alone
Didn't you say it before that our love is forevermore
- I wish I already knew - I can't understand this.
- That our feelings won't last - Why didn't you use our language?
Then I won't have to suffer this way
- If I never learned - Rico Suave!
- To give you my love - I love you!
Don't you know I'm hurting inside
I wish I already knew
That our feelings won't last
Then I won't have to suffer this way
To give you my love
Don't you know that I'm hurting inside
That's life. Rico. Don't take it too hard.
Are you okay?
No.
Why don't you go find Venus? Venus!
She's still mad at me. And besides. She doesn't like me.
That's not true.
She loves you.
I saw the way she looks at you.
That sultry. Passionate. Flavourful Delicious look.
That's why she loves you!
Women like Venus don't know how to love...
because she's a prostitute.
What?
Yes. And women like her are only after men's money.
But Venus is not a prostitute!
What do you mean?
Don't you understand? Venus is still a virgin.
She may be a thief. but she's not a prostitute.
That's right.
We paid for her services to restore your interest in women...
but she failed to do it.
And so. She returned our money. I think Venus has fallen for you.
I think so. Too.
Good morning Ma'am.
I wish to talk to Venus.
Hi Rico! Venus just left.
I think she went to see you.
Didn't you meet her?
If we already met. do you think I would drop by here?
You're smart. You know.
She went to the park.
Thanks.
Bye!
Venus.
What now?
Please don't get mad.
I just need to tell you something.
What is it?
Venus...
I'm still a virgin.
So? Why are you telling me this?
Because we went through a lot already.
What?
You came to know my entire family.
Except me.
Let me introduce myself to you and please listen to me.
Okay.
Make sure you don't mess up again with what you'll say.
Do you remember the last time we were together?
We had a real nice time. Right?
We had something then that I know you also felt in your heart.
I guess during that brief time...
we were sharing something special.
I love you.
I don't love you. I'm only after your money.
You know. You're a fake.
How could you say that when your eyes tell me that...
you love me so much?
I'm not as tough as you are to admit that you're a virgin...
and that you love me.
Then admit it to me. That you're still a virgin and that you love me.
You'll make me happy.
Come on.
Come on. Say it.
I love you Rico.
Rico Suave. I love you.
I love you too. Venus.
Both of you are here to celebrate your love...
in an everlasting union made holy in front of the Church.
Venus, do you willfully accept this man as your husband...
whom you will love and serve for the rest of your life?
I do.
Rico, do you willfully accept this woman as your wife...
whom you will love and serve for the rest of your life?
I do.
Venus. Wear this ring as a symbol of my love and fidelity to you.
In the name of the Father. the Son. And the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Rico. Wear this ring as a symbol of my love and fidelity to you.
In the name of the Father. the Son. And the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Brothers and sisters, let's give them a round of applause.
You may now kiss the bride.
- Kiss her! - Kiss her!
Rico!
What are you doing. Rico?
I'm practising yoga. It makes you perfect.
Rico...
Come on. Let's do it.
Can we do it tomorrow instead?
That yoga exhausted me.
Venus?
Venus!
- Hey hey hey hey hey hey! - Venus? What happened to you?
Hey hey hey hey hey hey!
- Venus? - Hey hey hey hey hey hey!
Venus?
Hey hey hey hey hey hey!
Dr. Martin?
- Hey hey hey hey hey hey! - I've got a problem!
Not again?
- Hey hey hey hey hey hey! - It's Venus!
Why? What happened?
Venus!
Oh Venus. Why now...
when I've got the hots for you!